Inadvertent Humor Department

 

The following excerpts came from letters received from applicants for welfare in the Northeast:

• I am forwarding my marriage certificate and six children, I have, but one died which was baptized on a half of sheet of paper.

• I am writing the Welfare Department to say that my baby was born two years old. When do I get my money?

• Mrs. Jones has not had any clothes for a year and has been regularly visited by the clergy.

• I am forwarding my marriage certificate and three children, one of which is a mistake as you can see.

• I want my money as quick as I can get it. I've been in bed with the doctor for two weeks and he doesn't do me any good. If things don't improve, I will have to send for another doctor.


The following excerpts came from letters received from applicants for welfare in the Northeast:

• Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

• Please excuse Johnnie for being. It was his father’s fault.

• Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.

• Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

• Please excuse Blanche from jim today. She’s administrating.

• Ralph was absent yesterday because he had a sore trout.

• Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.

Source: newsletter of The Nevada Manufacturer Association u

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